New Year Reflections…

As I write this blog post, I’m sitting in my seat on a Delta Airline flight to Aruba, looking out the window at a clear sky above me and a bed of clouds beneath me. I’m buckled in my seat with my headphones plugged into the Delta stereo system, listening to the Peaceful Piano Mix, lost in my own thoughts. I’m thinking about all this year means for me. It’s a milestone year, filled with many reasons to celebrate.

In a few short months, on May 16, 2023, I will complete my 60th year around the sun. This year marks the beginning of the 6th decade of my life. I was licensed to preach the gospel on Sunday, June 6, 1993, in our little store front church surrounded by those who witnessed my struggle to clarify my call as a preacher and woman in ministry.

On Saturday, June 26, 1993, at 5:00 PM, I married my best friend, Johnathan Alvarado. I’m forever grateful to him for being the strongest supporter of the call of God on my life and my biggest cheerleader. He encourages me to achieve any goal that my heart desires and ensures that I have enough resources to accomplish my dreams. This year, I will celebrate my 60th Birthday, my 30th Preaching Anniversary and 30 Years of Marriage to my husband, lover, friend, and the father of all my children!

While I celebrate on one hand, I also mourn the losses along the way. I mourn my loved ones who are not here to share in my celebrations bodily, chiefly my mother who passed away on May 28, 2021. It’s hard to put into words how much I miss her presence, her voice, her smell, and the gentle way she would tell me what to do. I mourn the loss of relationships and the scars of ministry. I mourn opportunities that I missed because I was too afraid or did not believe enough in myself to pursue.

No one lives 60 years without losses and gains, so while have experienced painful losses, I have more gains and victories. As I continue to write, I smile, reflecting on the things I have accomplished in these 60 years of life and 30 years in ministry and marriage. I’ve grown both naturally and spiritually. I’ve taken chances, like when I relocated from Chicago to Atlanta in 1989. I’ve overcome obstacles to my faith, both internal and external. I’ve learned, when life hands you lemons, you take it and make lemonade.

I’ve experienced success in education, business, and ministry ventures. I’ve preached in pulpits large and small. I’ve weathered the storms that come with marriage and raising children. I know the joy of true, passionate, unconditional love. I know the rigors of parenting and the satisfaction of watching them become great humans who care deeply about the sufferings of others, accomplish great things in their education, careers and overcome their own struggles in life. I know the happiness of sharing my life with family and the laughter of girlfriends. I’ve learned how to engage in meaningful self-care and the care of my mind, body, and soul.

I go into this new year grateful, thankful, reflective, and celebrative…

Dr. Toni